Getting Old-er

Suddenly 40

If ever there was a protocol for what one should be, do, wear, say, or how one should carry themselves when they hit middle age it has been fashionably, conveniently forgotten. Thank god.

There's a fine line between age-appropriate, and settling. Finding a sweet spot has been key for me. I've tried to keep and rekindle the elements of my life which have always been important, such as creative projects. And even though this is San Francisco, where a 70-something co-worker streaked her hair to match her outfits and her moods, there is something in my head saying, "Mmmm... not me." On the other hand, my 20 year high school reunion made a powerful impression. People of my same age, with similar life experiences, had allowed themselves to manifest into who they believed they should be at their age. I felt puzzled by this and still do. Should I conceal my taste in music, or desire to dance until dawn? Will friends and co-workers silently wonder about me if I don't fall into expected patterns? I don't think I will surprise anyone by concluding that I'm unconcerned.

What I learned as I hovered around my 30th birthday is that there is a time and place for all things. Sometimes we tackle projects with seemingly insurmountable challenges and distractions, with Doom waiting in the wings. Sometimes we have to jump up and down on our beds to blaring disco, waving a sparkly baton. For the record I've never tried this.

On my birthday a few weeks from now I plan to do South Beach Diet approved jello shots and crawl from one nightclub to another. My head will throb for days after but I'll forge onward. Flintstone vitamins, jog-walking, turkey bacon, salads, high fiber, espresso with Splenda. Yeah. That's how we roll.

Wonder years; 1971 to be exact